Joe's Stuff

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US Army blocks access to ClintonEmail.com

Jun 282016

So the now famous domain, ClintonEmail.com is being blocked by the US Army on several Army installations.  This screenshot of it being blocked was taken yesterday:

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While that doesn't necessarily mean much up front as it was an email server and not a webserver that serves up a web site, the fact that it even has a categorization of "suspicious" means that someone specifically blocked it because unknown websites have an empty categorization of "" when blocked.

But why?  Why would this be blocked?  It's the domain used by the Clinton's to conduct personal communications.  Surely this doesn't have a need to be blocked, right?

Getting Off on the Wrong Foot

May 182016

I've served with quite a few fuck ups in my career, but this one takes the cake.  I honestly don't know how this guy got through MEPS.

For PT one morning, my platoon conducted a short 6 mile ruck march.  We started early so we could be done by 0730.  It was dark when we started.

We finish the ruck march and I'm standing around with the Soldiers in my squad.  The dumb one comes up to me and we have this exchange:

Private:  Sarge, my feet hurt.

Me:  We just finished a 6 mile ruck march and we haven't done one in a while so that's probably why.

Private:  No, sarge.  They really hurt.  Like more than usual.  Can I take my boots off?

Me:  You have a few minutes.  Change your socks while you are at it.

At this point, the sun is starting to come up so we have some light to see things more clearly.  He sits down and I watch him take his first boot off.  I do a double-take because I thought I saw him take his left boot off of his right foot.  I inquire:

Me:  Hey, did you just take that boot off?

Private:  Roger, Sergeant!

Me:  And you haven't taken the other boot off since you started the ruck march?

Private:  Roger, Sergeant!

Me:  I want you to look VERY closely as the boot that is on your left foot.  Does that look like your right boot?

Private:  No, Sergeant!

Me:  I think we found why your feet hurt.

How do people like this make it to adulthood?

I Poured Piss All Over Myself!

May 162016

In Iraq, especially in the summer, it can get hot.  It feels like a hair dryer is blowing in your face nonstop at times.

We came off this mission in the middle of the summer.  Everyone was soaked to the bone in sweat.  Once we parked the trucks in the base, most of the Soldiers got out and started taking off their 65+ pounds of equipment to get some of the hot breeze to hopefully dry some of that sweat and cool them off.

The gunner in my truck starts tossing water bottles from the cooler to the guys so they can rehydrate and cool off.  Some of the guys pour the water bottles on their face for a quick cool rinse.  He also starts tossing any trash out so we can clean the truck out.

One of our guys pours a water bottle on his face and instead of looking refreshed, he tenses up and looks disgusting.

Him:  What the fuck!  That was piss!  I just poured piss all over myself!

I don't know for sure if he picked a random bottle off the ground or the gunner tossed him a piss bottle on purpose to make it seem like it was a water bottle.  I want to believe it was the latter.

Simple Math for Simple Privates

May 152016

Like yesterday's post, we hit on the fact that the Infantry doesn't necessarily attract the most intelligent people.

As NCOs we had to keep our Soldiers on their feet and always thinking... always pushing them to be better in every way possible.  Get Smarter and Stronger Everday was a motto some of us embodied.

Physical Training in the morning was the time for Soldiers to push themselves and improve themselves physically.  Throughout the day the NCOs would ask Soldiers questions about their job and life in general to push the envelope of their knowledge.

One of our Soldiers didn't seem to grasp some common sense concepts and we realized he didn't truly understand simple things that the average adult should understand.  Here is one such simple question that stumped him:

NCO:  If you drove at 80 Miles Per Hour for an hour, how far would you go?

Soldier:  Uh... I don't know.

NCO:  Think about it.  80... Miles... Per... Hour.

Soldier:  I don't know.

The Army trusts this Soldier to fire his rifle but he can't figure out simple math or even understand a simple question that contains the answer to the question within the words used to pose the question...

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The Infantry Isn't What It Seems

May 142016

The Infantry is known for being home to some fairly unintelligent individuals.  Some are just outright dumb, stupid, or otherwise unintelligent... others just don't know how to ask questions.  You can't tell me your recruiter lied to you if you didn't ask the necessary questions about what you'd be doing in the infantry.

This Soldier didn't appear happy with his job within the Infantry.  He was a relatively new private and he didn't seem motivated.  He didn't seem like he wanted to do anything the Infantry does, to include firing weapons from our impressive arsenal.  So the NCOs of my platoon had him come to the office and we started inquiring as to why he didn't seem motivated.

NCO:  Why don't you seem like you want to do anything we do here in the Infantry?

Soldier:  This isn't what I thought it would be like when I joined the Army.  It's a completely different job than what I had in mind.

NCO:  What did you think the Infantry did?

Soldier:  I thought the infantry was about taking care of infants.

Stick a fork in me... I'm done!

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Leaving Your Car Behind

May 132016

One of my Soldiers, when getting out of the Army decided it would be best to move himself back home instead of having the Army take care of it.  Some people just like to get the job done themselves.  But he had a small car that wouldn't be able to load up with much or tow a trailer, so he decided to look into buying a car.

He owed money on the car - a lot more than what it was worth for trade-in, so there would be negative equity involved if he traded it in.

So he got this great idea that he would just leave the car on Fort Benning.  Just leave it behind.  Despite everything everyone told him about how much of a bad idea it was...

He went out and bought the truck he wanted.  He also just stopped making payments on the car at about the same time.  In his mind, the respossession wouldn't hit his credit until months after buying the truck and his payments wouldn't be astronomical because he wouldn't have a bunch of negative equity carried over from the car on top of the truck's loan.

He left the Army and went home and his car was left abandoned in a parking lot near his former on-post house.  It's not there anymore so I imagine it was repossessed.

I seriously hope he doesn't want to buy a house for his family anytime soon.